| this layout = ded. |
[23 Dec 2003|09:49pm] |
hey guys and girls, brand new fucking livejournal...under the name ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) __symbiotic please, add me if you have me added now, or add me if you want to. lates.
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[18 Dec 2003|10:42pm] |
xxBedroomEyes3xx: think about it... close your eyes...
xxBedroomEyes3xx: oh wait...
xxBedroomEyes3xx: then you couldn't read this
xxBedroomEyes3xx: ok, read this
xxBedroomEyes3xx: then close your eyes
xxBedroomEyes3xx: then peak, then close your eyes and read some more, and so on..
xxBedroomEyes3xx: 30,000 people
xxBedroomEyes3xx: all students
xxBedroomEyes3xx: all your age
xxBedroomEyes3xx: no old people in site
xxBedroomEyes3xx: no kids in sight
xxBedroomEyes3xx: every business, every shop, and restaurant, every single place... all people your age
xxBedroomEyes3xx: a town run by college students
xxBedroomEyes3xx: that is the wonder of athens
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| its only hurts when i breathe |
[15 Dec 2003|08:18pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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Atreyu - Someone's Standing On My Chest |
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wow, Atreyu moves me so much...i mean when im down, i listen to them and it helps me through it, Alex's songwriting seems to influence mine, and everything about them just blows my mind. like whoa. anyway, ive been really whoring out the davey and jade community, its fun though. its cool that lj has gotten rid of codes, i think i may change my name eventually, there is alot is this journal that i want to leave behind. seriously, i read some of my old entries and i was like man, i was really stupid then. i wish i could forget that.
i still wish i could find that someone, the person who, well, to use a cliche, completes me. ive been looking for so long and it seems to be quite a fruitless effort, the last person that was 'into' me, well i ruined it with the whole laura thing. blah.
god take me because i hate me
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[07 Dec 2003|03:48pm] |
Bleeding Tears by Will Bray (me)
you'd say that we were something,
that we could progress
but in the fact of it all
you left me hanging in the gallows of your love
swinging with the wind you left my soul as i gasped for air
we all tried to turn back time just to make things right
when in reality you fooled around and didnt care
now god only knows how much i need you here
please, just please, dont ever close up your lungs
dont close your eyes, you can miss so much
miss so much darling, miss so much.
chorus:
the screams pierce your ear
your eardrums explode
just like the people you've loved
they're wishing you were still here,
still sane, still the loving person you once where
life gave you a swift kick, i hope to see you in hell one day, one day
take a waltz with your murderer
stare the man who you once loved
in the eyes and tell him you never want him back
just another way to play another guy for you
its always the same isnt it?
you judged me and now your killing me
funny how life goes isnt it?
you turn your back for 5 seconds and the people you love
stab you in the back and dance within your blood
CHORUS
you'd say that we were something,
that we could progress
but in the fact of it all
you left me hanging in the gallows of your love
life's so funny (3x)
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| what a bitch. |
[05 Dec 2003|08:39pm] |
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music |
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Atreyu - Tulips Are Better |
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x emo delight x: so i hear you're running around with [AAO] tags on
O p05i7Iv3: no
O p05i7Iv3: im running around as p0p secret
x emo delight x: thats not what frozen says
O p05i7Iv3: you want to go to a server so i can show you?
O p05i7Iv3: we can if you want
O p05i7Iv3: but personally i dotn want to waste the time
x emo delight x: whoa
x emo delight x: testy today
x emo delight x: considering youve been a pain in everyones ass since day 1
x emo delight x: but whatever you are up to, stop. dont mess with frozen or his clan
O p05i7Iv3: ..
O p05i7Iv3: you know what.
O p05i7Iv3: i'm growing quite tired of you ordering me around
O p05i7Iv3: i've been trying to conform to your ideals
O p05i7Iv3: and your rules
O p05i7Iv3: but you just keep coming back at me
O p05i7Iv3: thats the only reason we ever talk anymore
O p05i7Iv3: so you can tell me what i need to improve on
x emo delight x: well it doenst help that you go around starting shit
O p05i7Iv3: i didnt start shit.
x emo delight x: because frozen has come to me 2 days in a row complaining about you running around with his tags on
x emo delight x: you seem to have no sense of right or wrong, or that whatever you do may hurt someone
O p05i7Iv3: HURT?!
O p05i7Iv3: WTF
O p05i7Iv3: ok mr tight ass
O p05i7Iv3: heres how it went
O p05i7Iv3: i wanted to prove i could beat him
O p05i7Iv3: so i made up a name
O p05i7Iv3: and told him i wanted to try out
O p05i7Iv3: i kicked his ass
O p05i7Iv3: and he recruited me
O p05i7Iv3: then i changed my name back to serbian
O p05i7Iv3: i new if he knew it was me
O p05i7Iv3: he'd play harder
O p05i7Iv3: so i went under a different name
O p05i7Iv3: and then i kept the tags on until i left
O p05i7Iv3: left the server that is
O p05i7Iv3: and then i took them off
O p05i7Iv3: i dont want some stupid aao tags
x emo delight x: im not being mr. tight ass, i hate being the middle man in everything that happens
O p05i7Iv3: then why are you?!
O p05i7Iv3: why the fuck is everything my problem or my fault!?
x emo delight x: because you are usually the instigator
O p05i7Iv3: oh bullshit
O p05i7Iv3: i didnt instigate anything
O p05i7Iv3: i played against him
O p05i7Iv3: and he recruited me
O p05i7Iv3: he can cry his eyes out
O p05i7Iv3: its not like i went to the forum and bragged about it
x emo delight x: im sure you thought about it
O p05i7Iv3: will
O p05i7Iv3: you need to decide right now
O p05i7Iv3: if we can be friends or not
O p05i7Iv3: you need to decide whether you trust me or not
x emo delight x: dont put me in this position
O p05i7Iv3: no i'm putting you in it
O p05i7Iv3: you need to decide whether im a pain in YOUR ass.
O p05i7Iv3: if you say we cant be friends
O p05i7Iv3: then whatever
O p05i7Iv3: we just wont talk
O p05i7Iv3: and i wont come back to your forums
O p05i7Iv3: or post on your lj
O p05i7Iv3: if you say we can
O p05i7Iv3: then you can start trusting me
O p05i7Iv3: and we can talk without you accusing me of something
x emo delight x: i dont know.
O p05i7Iv3: well
O p05i7Iv3: you need to know in about 20 seconds.
O p05i7Iv3: thats all im giving you.
O p05i7Iv3: starting now.
O p05i7Iv3: times up
O p05i7Iv3: what did you decide.
x emo delight x: agh.
x emo delight x: the truth is, i dont trust you, but id like to stay friends
O p05i7Iv3: i cant have you not trust me and still be friends
O p05i7Iv3: thats like living a lie
O p05i7Iv3: well.
O p05i7Iv3: i'm sorry i have to hold you to such a high standard.
O p05i7Iv3: but you can start now
O p05i7Iv3: or just end it
x emo delight x: uh, what?
O p05i7Iv3: us being friends
O p05i7Iv3: if we cant, i promise to never bother you again.
O p05i7Iv3: if we can, then you'll just have to start putting up with me being a pain in the ass.
x emo delight x: yah.
x emo delight x: well whatever. i dont care anymore
O p05i7Iv3: alright
O p05i7Iv3: well xwillx, we had some times.
O p05i7Iv3: but you're just too cool for me i guess
O p05i7Iv3: i wont hold it against you.
O p05i7Iv3: but whatever.
O p05i7Iv3: like richard said
O p05i7Iv3: i liked you better as am0
x emo delight x: hah, most people did
O p05i7Iv3: not some guy who automatically takes the enemies side.
x emo delight x: he's not the enemy, hell of alot cooler than you
O p05i7Iv3: not a mistrusting guy who gets baked to get away from his problems
O p05i7Iv3: problems that he takes out on his friends.
x emo delight x: dont even say that
x emo delight x: when you dont know what goes on
x emo delight x: you have no clue who i really am
O p05i7Iv3: ha ha ha
x emo delight x: so dont even fucking start
O p05i7Iv3: xwillx, i dont care who you are.
O p05i7Iv3: you dont even care about anything anymore
O p05i7Iv3: you just take it out on me.
O p05i7Iv3: like all of your life's problems are caused by me
x emo delight x: i only take the ones out on you that you cause
O p05i7Iv3: when your dads friend died, you screwed richard over.
x emo delight x: which happens to be alot because you're a little bitch who acts like a fucking retard when he doesnt get his way
O p05i7Iv3: now that you have no serious problems
O p05i7Iv3: you've decided to make one.
x emo delight x: i only said that stuff to reech because he deserved it
O p05i7Iv3: your adiction, your friends attempting suicide, your parents.. none of this is my problem. but when you make it a point to tear me down just to make yourself look better.
O p05i7Iv3: thats low.
x emo delight x: its things that people have wanted to say to him for a long time, but no one did
O p05i7Iv3: and thats what you did to richard.
O p05i7Iv3: and now you are doing it to me.
O p05i7Iv3: and i guess you expect us to still want to be friends.
x emo delight x: so what are you now? the fucking messiah?
O p05i7Iv3: what are you xwillx?
O p05i7Iv3: do you even know that?
O p05i7Iv3: how can you even be sure of who i am?
O p05i7Iv3: how do you even know i am who i say i am.
x emo delight x: i doubt your sure who you are either
O p05i7Iv3: i know who i am
O p05i7Iv3: i know where i came from
O p05i7Iv3: i know what i need to know
x emo delight x: so do i
O p05i7Iv3: really now
O p05i7Iv3: so why is it that you are so insecure
x emo delight x: im not
O p05i7Iv3: then why take your problems out on me
x emo delight x: i dont
x emo delight x: i only take out the ones on you that you cause
x emo delight x: which seems to be alot lately
O p05i7Iv3: you know what xwillx
O p05i7Iv3: you seem to be great at accusing me of stuff
O p05i7Iv3: so let me accuse YOU of stuff
x emo delight x: alright
x emo delight x: take a shot
O p05i7Iv3: i think that you cause most of your problems
O p05i7Iv3: you have dwelled on yourself for far too long
O p05i7Iv3: you try to fix your problems by forgetting them
O p05i7Iv3: you take it out on me and other people
O p05i7Iv3: as if all of the things you do are caused by us
O p05i7Iv3: like smoking
O p05i7Iv3: thats not my problem
O p05i7Iv3: but i bet you have taken it out on me
O p05i7Iv3: at one time or another
O p05i7Iv3: whether you admit it or not
O p05i7Iv3: and i know you wont ever consider changing
O p05i7Iv3: you see
O p05i7Iv3: i think you are a lot like corey
O p05i7Iv3: you started out good
O p05i7Iv3: and with good intentions too
O p05i7Iv3: but you got wrapped up in the scheme of it all
O p05i7Iv3: and now its not so good.
O p05i7Iv3: i'm not sure when or why you started to trash me out
O p05i7Iv3: but you should've stopped sooner
O p05i7Iv3: because now i dont see how we were ever friends
O p05i7Iv3: OH WAIT
O p05i7Iv3: NOW I REMEMBER
O p05i7Iv3: I FUCKIN REMEMBER NOW
O p05i7Iv3: we started talking
O p05i7Iv3: because when your dad was yelling at you
O p05i7Iv3: i told you
O p05i7Iv3: "i know what that feels like"
O p05i7Iv3: yeah
O p05i7Iv3: we used to be able to relate
O p05i7Iv3: and now you're a different person
O p05i7Iv3: and ha ha
O p05i7Iv3: you're probabably not reading this
O p05i7Iv3: but
O p05i7Iv3: thats not my problem
O p05i7Iv3: im sorry all of this had to come to this
O p05i7Iv3: i truly am
O p05i7Iv3: but i cant continue to be friends with you
x emo delight x: well
x emo delight x: i am reading
O p05i7Iv3: not that you care
O p05i7Iv3: you'll just say
O p05i7Iv3: "well whatever. i dont care"
x emo delight x: and its uh, not making me feel any worse or any better
x emo delight x: exactly. i could careless about you and your damn forked out, half-assed opinions
O p05i7Iv3: you see
O p05i7Iv3: thats what you've reduced me to
O p05i7Iv3: you used to respect me
O p05i7Iv3: i dont know why you dont anymore
O p05i7Iv3: because i havent changed
O p05i7Iv3: not at all.
O p05i7Iv3: why should you care?
O p05i7Iv3: you shouldnt
O p05i7Iv3: you have no reason too
O p05i7Iv3: i dont know you
O p05i7Iv3: i dont talk to you day to day
O p05i7Iv3: but you dont either!
x emo delight x: mhm
O p05i7Iv3: you have no idea who i am
O p05i7Iv3: you dont even know my name
x emo delight x: sam
O p05i7Iv3: rofl
O p05i7Iv3: that is not my name
O p05i7Iv3: not truly.
x emo delight x: thats what your brother told me
O p05i7Iv3: brother?
O p05i7Iv3: oh yeah!
x emo delight x: when he told me you were dead
O p05i7Iv3: the 2 year old
O p05i7Iv3: rofl
x emo delight x: i actually felt for you when i thought you were dead
O p05i7Iv3: well amo
O p05i7Iv3: i have a secret to tell you
x emo delight x: but, once i figured out it was all a lie, maybe thats were my respect for you went
O p05i7Iv3: lmfao
O p05i7Iv3: its not a lie
O p05i7Iv3: i go by my middle name
O p05i7Iv3: but thats alright
O p05i7Iv3: you can think that I said that
x emo delight x: now i wish you actually WERE dea
x emo delight x: d
O p05i7Iv3: why
x emo delight x: because then i wouldnt have to get stuck in your girlish fits, listen to you bitch about how im such a horrible person
x emo delight x: bla bla bla
O p05i7Iv3: hold it there bastard
O p05i7Iv3: you do the exact same
O p05i7Iv3: you whin
O p05i7Iv3: and have girlish fits
O p05i7Iv3: like you had with richard
x emo delight x: i should've never been friends with you. i should've just kept hating you when the first forums were around
O p05i7Iv3: ha ha ha
O p05i7Iv3: well good then
O p05i7Iv3: then lets just pretend we had never met
O p05i7Iv3: and you can pretend that you're fucking life is worth the dirt on my shoes
x emo delight x: oh yeah, no frills. nothing happened
O p05i7Iv3: and that i give a rats ass about what you think
x emo delight x: haha
O p05i7Iv3: i tried to put up with you telling me to change who i am
O p05i7Iv3: and i tried to put up with you throwing various insults at me
x emo delight x: i never said you had to change
O p05i7Iv3: but i've grown tired of you
O p05i7Iv3: i've grown tired of the plastic xwillx
O p05i7Iv3: you're so fake now
O p05i7Iv3: but thats ok
O p05i7Iv3: keep telling everyone that you wish they were dead
O p05i7Iv3: and when you're burning in hell
O p05i7Iv3: we'll laugh at you
x emo delight x: good
O p05i7Iv3 signed off at 8:37:20 PM.
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| long time coming |
[03 Dec 2003|11:53pm] |
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mood |
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 lonely |
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music |
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Thursday - War All The Time |
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yeah ive had alot on my mind lately. i guess ive just had the feeling that i need someone who will like me, even love me back, and not have to hold any feelings or emotions back with me, just being real and raw like a person should be. so much lately ive lost that in the people i know. most of them have just become hollow shells of their former selves. i mean, they havent turned into necessarily bad people, but the things they do and represent are totally screwed. i mean, like my friend amy, she's is one of the coolest people i know, she's not afraid to be emotional and lay it all down for someone (or drive with a friend for a half an hour just to hang out for a few hours with me and some friends) but there is something about her, sometimes i feel she claims she's telling me everything but she feels she's holding back. i wish, i truely do that i could have some like amy, but not amy herself..it'd just be weird and i dont think she feels that way for me, and i also would like to keep it friends, its better that way. but yeah, relationships suck like that. i wish i could stand back and watch how people really are, you know? how they really act when they arent around you and what they say and what they do, and how they hold their beliefs. like on wednesday nights, sam pretends to be so down for God then once we get back he's back to the same old drinkin, smoking, and all the old sam. buddy, make some changes or stop making my family waste gas money on you.
if i keep holding my breath im gonna disappear...
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| new sn |
[05 Oct 2003|08:56pm] |
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mood |
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DESAPARECIDOS - give me the pen |
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this is a public entry. wow.
new aim sn:
offset fate
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| friends only |
[22 Jul 2003|12:19am] |
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friends only. leave a comment and if i like what i see ill add you and you can read about my life. so yeah. maybe ill make an image to go here or something. im lazy.
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